Lately I’ve been getting in my own way, a lot. The feeling of not being good enough and accepting you can’t change peoples view of you, when they have decided which box to put you in.
I am disappointed in some people who is in my life and has been always, because I still get put in the same box as I did 10 years ago.
As I said in a recent instagram post, I feel lost and I feel I am a failure as a nutritionist, because I haven’t lost the baby weight, and I feel so deform because of my c-saction scar is made so high my belly is totally square at the bottom. The only place I’ve found jeans that fit and look nice is on Wish.com , they are not the best quality but has the best fit for hiding a deform belly, so I look decent.
I don’t remember if I’ve told, I suffered with an eating disorder in 14 years, when I was younger, it was the worst time of my life, and I don’t want to go back to that state of mind. I can’t!
But by feeling this deform and by being overweight, it trickers the thought pattern I had, and the feeling of self hatred, of not being good enough.
Luckily my healthy lifestyle have the main problem that resulted in my eating disorder under control, my IBS is not the problem. It was the main reason I had and got my eating disorder, my IBS was undiscovered/undiagnosed in so many years.
I’m not perfect, I’m a pretty emotional person, and I love everything to be perfect. I want to do everything I do perfectly, but I know I’ve to prioritize, I’m getting better at it.
I know if you love your self, the world will love you and you will attract great things, I’m finding my love for my self, it will take a bit of time but I’m working at it, and I have lots of support I’m very grateful for!
Learn to love yourself truthfully and endlessly, and the world will be yours.